politics · VIDEO
SIXTH FINGER REVEALED: PM’s New Digit Sparks Conspiracy Theories and Café Countdowns
entertainment · VIDEO
Introducing TranquiliDS: The Cure for Your Family BBQ-Related Arguments
politics
Trump to Fix Housing Crisis: Just Add Water and $200 Billion in Government Cash!
politics
Trump Solves Housing Crisis by Ordering Fannie and Freddie to Play Monopoly: Housing Affordability Edition!
tech · VIDEO
Local News Station Discovers New Form of Journalism: Pranks, Snacks, and Browser Regrets
POLITICS
Breaking: Infants Launch Comedy Career After Impressive Nap-Time Negotiations
BABY BOSS: The Littlest Leader's Stand-Up Comedy Special What happens when the world's youngest leader takes the comedy stage? Nap-time executive orders, chicken nugget policy, and a mic drop bigger...
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entertainment
From Snowboarder to Snow Job: Ryan Wedding’s Olympic Career Takes a ‘Coke’-tastic Turn!
Former Olympic snowboarder Ryan Wedding just proved that going downhill isn't just for slopes anymore—FBI arrested him in LA as their Most Wanted drug kingpin, allegedly running a transnational cocai...
entertainment
Couple Cancels Dream Wedding Because Arguing Over Money Isn’t Romantic Enough, Apparently
Dallas Cowboys QB Dak Prescott and fiancée Jane Ramos have called off their Italian destination wedding after a "blowup argument" during their joint bachelor/bachelorette parties in the Bahamas. The c...
world
Iran Successfully Turns ‘Oil Spills’ Into ‘Oil Thrills’ as Global Prices Soar Higher Than Gas Station Markups
In a stunning twist, Iran marks Day 13 of its chaotic conflict by launching surprise attacks on oil tankers, bringing 20% of the world’s oil supply to its knees. While the US and Israel engage in a ga...
world
Iran and US Spark New Reality Show: 'Who Wants to Be an Innocent Civilian?'
As Iran and the US celebrate their latest action-packed episode of "As the World Burns," over 1,350 civilians have taken the lead as unwilling stars of this tragic drama. With missile and drone strike...
politics
U.S. Military Extends Vacation in Middle East While TSA Fleeing Like It's a Fire Drill
The U.S. military has extended its vacation in the Middle East by taking out 16 Iranian mine layers, while President Trump promises the conflict will wrap up "soon"—because nothing says resolution lik...
politics
Trump Assures Us Conflict With Iran Will End 'Soon' — Often Used by Pizza Delivery Guys Too
In a world where a war is just a phone call away, President Trump insists the escalating conflict with Iran will be "over soon." Meanwhile, he denies US responsibility for a recent bombing because, cl...
sports
12th Seed Washington Huskies Pull Off Upset; Experts Shocked to Discover Basketball Exists
In what can only be described as a jaw-dropping moment in sports, the 12th seed Washington Huskies triumphed over the USC Trojans in a college basketball upset, sending ripples through the tournament...
sports
Miami (Ohio) Loses! Shockingly, Perfection Doesn't Last Forever—Who Knew?
In a shocking twist at the Big Ten Tournament, the undefeated Miami (Ohio) was upset by UMass, marking their first loss of the season! As they tumble down the ranks, it seems their perfect record was...
politics
Senators Shocked to Discover That Classified Briefing Was Actually Not a Magic Show
After a classified Iran briefing, senators emerged saying the situation is “far worse than expected.” Confusion spreads across the Galactic Senate as lawmakers question whether a real plan exists… or...
entertainment
Liza Minnelli's Memoir: The Snarky Chronicles of Gene Hackman's On-Set Attitude
Liza Minnelli shares juicy stories in her new memoir, spilling the beans about Gene Hackman's rudeness on set. Who knew the king of cabaret also held court with such spicy anecdotes? It’s like a famil...
world
Middle East Turns into Real-Life Reality Show: 'Keeping Up with the Conflicted Clerics'
In a gripping saga that makes soap operas look dull, the Middle East is now officially a cauldron of conflict as Iran, the U.S., and Israel engage in a live-action thrill ride. After launching over 10...
world
Iran Hosts 'Boom Boom' Oil Tanker Parties While U.S. Masters the Art of Diplomatic Kaboom
As tensions escalate in the Strait of Hormuz, Iran's latest venture in hospitality includes turning oil tankers into floating fireworks displays. The U.S. engages in a new martial arts style—"explosiv...